If the Idea of Losing Someone You Love Pains You

It was raining this morning, and my dad sheltered me to the bus stop. A brolly on his one hand and my arm on the other. What a nostalgic moment as I pondered about how parents provide shelter for their kids.

I went across to the bus stop dry and watched my dad’s back view walking back home. That short walk brought me a bittersweet feeling. My dad is turning 72 this year. As I typed this, I can’t help feeling like I’m about to tear. In the last few years, I have witnessed how his body is gradually becoming weaker. Ailments surfacing and the visits to the doctors have increased. My dad is a strong man, and even strong people will have to face the inevitable consequences of ageing.

It dawn upon me that there will come a time he wouldn’t be with me anymore, and this thought is unbearable. And please, don’t tell me why to bother thinking of things that aren’t happening yet or why to dwell on negativity. Of course, I don’t hope or anticipate for the day that he will leave me. Perhaps you may find me morbid. It is, however, true for me too that in these dark moments I am conscious to cherish the small moments with people that I love. I do not take granted for times that are still available for me, and to also be able to let go of the times that we do not see eye to eye.